Growing up, I was the shy and people pleasing good girl who was often told she was too serious and too sensitive. Not understanding why I never felt at home in my body or the world, I experienced an almost constant level of anxiety. Depression set in during my teen years and continued off and on throughout much of my adult life. To feel a sense of safety, I became rigid in my attempts to control things, all the while trying to be “good enough” and loveable. But, of course, no matter how perfect I tried to be, I never did feel authentically worthy. On the outside, I looked like I had it all together. But inside I was miserable and entrenched in a cycle I couldn’t get out of. Eventually, my body sent messages to get my attention; quiet whispers that grew into screams I could no longer ignore. What started as minor aches and pains turned into total body collapse, mystery chronic illnesses, debilitating chronic pain and a symptom list a mile long. My life was brought to a complete stand-still. This period spanned 15 years, in addition to all the years prior that were filled with anxiety, depression, body image struggles and a general sense of feeling lost. I felt hopeless and utter despair. I wanted to live, but I didn’t want to live this way. It was a daily and, sometimes, minute by minute struggle to keep going. But somewhere deep down, there was a spark of light and wisdom within me that had long been dormant.
Slowly, over time, I started to discover a different way. I had tried all the traditional approaches to healing with very little success. Then I turned to holistic medicine, spending thousands of dollars on various detox protocols, hoards of supplements and any alternative treatment that was offered. When I did experience minor improvements, I was met with new symptoms and worse setbacks. Don’t get me wrong, I still incorporate and find value in many aspects of both western and holistic medicine. However, they weren’t the key to my healing. Eventually, I learned about the brain and nervous system. I discovered the impact of trauma and how unprocessed trauma is held in the body. I stumbled upon the magic and mystery of energy practices and came to understand that energy is everything. We are vibration and energy all the way to our core. I threw myself into learning all that I could about trauma, the nervous system, energy and deep healing. It’s been a fascinating ride and one that continues to this day.
In addition, these new lessons and understandings birthed a spiritual connection that had been lost long ago and that I longed to rediscover. Over time, true healing occurred. Does this mean I am free of pain & suffering? No. I’m still human and I still experience human challenges. There is no way around this. But today, I have the tools, support and resources to cope with these experiences and the ability to transform my pain into purpose and meaning. I no longer live with chronic conditions. When I do experience symptoms, I turn inward and ask what my body and soul need. I nurture myself with loving kindness and compassion instead of punishing myself and hating my body. Today, I embrace my sensitivities and deep feelings. These qualities are my greatest gifts and strengths. I treasure time in nature, communing with animals, music, dance and deep conversations. I’m passionate about the work I do and the life I live. I no longer feel the constant need to fit in with societal expectations and, instead, I practice living according to my values and in alignment with my center and my soul’s highest good. My mission during this lifetime is to contribute to humanity by guiding women to embody their true essence and reconnect to their wholeness, allowing them to be present to their lives, relationships and experiences and to feel deeply the wonder we call life.